Write It Out & Then Don’t Send

I have watched how the atmosphere at my current employer has shifted over the last year. I started over two years ago and was excited and a little apprehensive of the opportunity. It would be my first time truly working in Corporate America and I wasn’t sure if my lack of experience and professionalism would show. It was not my first full time job but going from the restaurant industry to internships with Congressman to public education to now working at a consulting firm in my actual graduate degree field was definitely intimidating to say the least. However, I committed myself to learning and jumped in. What a learning curve I’ve had as I quickly saw how this environment had been similar to previous positions I have held over the years. My willingness has always found me in jobs that I had no clue how to perform them and had little to no formal training on but I figured out a way to make it through and performed the duties to the best of MY abilities. It may not have always been the correct abilities but they were all performed to the best of my abilities. 

I believe heavily in training. If you want someone to perform a job correctly, you have to equip them with the right tools for their task. If you want someone to perform the duties of a Store Manager, then you have to train them HOW to be a Store Manager. You cannot give them a crash course and expect them to get the job as they go. I mean, you can do that but if you want the job to be performed at the standard level that the company expects, then some training has to be involved. I remember I once worked for a video rental company. They have not been in business for years but I was hired a second time by them to be a senior level customer service associate. When it came time for me to learn how to perform my shift leader duties, I learned how to close the store over the phone all in 5 minutes. I was grateful that I knew most of the duties already but some things you shouldn’t talk someone through over the phone. This was one of them but I did excellent and I became proficient to the level that I was training new shift leaders at other stores. 

Despite how well that situation went, I have had other “Crash Course” learning situations that haven’t went so well. My current employer is a prime example. I am the only one in my position. My position is somewhat a hybrid position. As I have worked in this position for a while, I have learned that I am not necessarily the first person to be in this position but I am the first person that may have the longest longevity in this position. I am a hands on learner and all of my training has been a “trial and error” type training. I haven’t complained but some times I feel you should have more direct involvement and with me being the only one in HR, its a little difficult to get that “One-on-One” that I have wanted since my first day. My supervisors work remotely and do not work a consistent schedule. Needless to say, it can be very frustrating to say the least. 

Over the last few months, I have grown increasingly frustrated with my environment. Normally when my mind begins to wander, I know that it getting close to that time where I have to sit down and evaluate where I am and either leave my current company or buckle down and get over the hump so that I can be the most productive employee that I can be. When I really feel that I am troubled and can’t make a decision, I will write out the pros and cons of my situation and then write a letter addressing what I feel the solution will be. In my current case, I drafted a letter of my resignation. I also drafted my responses for the Exit Interview. I wanted to get everything out of my system. Once I wrote these things out on paper, I saved them and stored them away. I felt better, lighter, free in a sense. 

Writing things out can help you place your emotions into the places that they need to be. My frustration and lack of motivation cannot all be blamed on my current employer. Yes, the environment has changed but until its that time to leave (which I know is coming) I have to put forth my best effort daily. I was so focused on my unhappiness that I was allowing it to stop me from performing my best. I was neglecting the fact that my faith in God states that I work for Him and not man. So, I have to give Him the first fruits of my labor daily and in turn, He will change my environment or change me and take me to a new environment. So, writing my resignation letter allowed me to get out the emotions but I didn’t turn in the letter. Have to have a plan in action before I do that. 

I have learned that you have to seek that happiness within and if something is hindering your happiness, it is either you or them. You may not have the perfect job but you should have a work-home life that is balanced. If it is not balanced, then you need to figure out how to make that balance happen. Sometimes it takes you writing it out but you don’t have to always mail it. 


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